I knew Saint Sebastian, a handsome if dissolute young man. I knew him first from Instagram, where he cultivated a healthy following. We had nothing in common, he ten years younger than me, me working in human rights law and he in PR for the Roman army, and me ten years older than him. But we didn’t need anything in common; I followed him because he prettied up my feed, and he didn’t follow me back. Saint Sebastian maintained a healthy ratio.